It is extremely painful to discover that you are married to someone who has realized they are gay or lesbian and/or is engaged in a gay/lesbian relationship or affair. There are many issues to deal with, including dealing with the sense of betrayal and loss for something over which you really have no control. Counseling can help as you process these very painful feelings and work through the anger and betrayal.
My goal is to help you understand how this happens and how to make the difficult decisions that will allow you to move ahead and find the quality of life and the happiness that you deserve. Marrying a gay or lesbian spouse was not your choice; however how you do have a choice in how you proceed for the rest of your life. Counseling can help you prepare to talk with the children, friends, family, and loved ones about what has happened and have a meaningful dialog that can be supportive and fruitful in finding a healthy path forward.
Some men and women experience many years of heterosexual relationships that sometimes include marriage and children. If you are a gay spouse who is trying to understand your sexuality and the impact it has on your spouse, children, or extended family, the situation can be extremely painful for everyone. Coming out to yourself and others is complicated when you experience this in the context of a committed heterosexual relationship.
There are many issues to deal with including whether to end your marriage, feeling ashamed, learning how to live authentically, and dealing with the sense of loss. This process can be overwhelming and leave you with a very lonely, scared feeling. Counseling can help to clarify how you feel about your sexuality, define and bring into focus the challenges that you are facing, and provide a safe space to find a path forward that gives you the best chance of achieving your life goals and ambitions.
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